On The Lighter Side
What is a Grandma?
Written by a Standard One Pupil

A grandma is a lady who has no children of her own, so she likes other people’s little girls.(A grandfather is a man. He goes for walks with the boys and they talk fishing and things like that.)

Grandma’s don’t have anything to do except to be there. It is enough if they take us to the supermarket where the rocking horse is and have lots of cents ready.

If they take us for walks, they slow down with us when we come to pretty leaves and caterpillars. They hardly ever say ‘Hurry Up’.Usually they are fat, but not too fat to tie kids’ shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums off.

It is best if they don’t typewrite or play – except with us. They don’t have to be smart, only answer questions like why dogs hate cats.

From “Presbyterian Life” – A Grandma is just an antique child.

My Two Friends
I’m quite a lively old girl,
With two men who never leave me alone.
There is Arthur Ritis who is with me all the time and
Will Power who gets me out of bed in the morning.

Thanks to Mrs C Fiedel

I’m Fine, Thank You!
‘There is nothing the matter with me,
I’m as healthy as I can be.
I have arthritis in both my knees
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.
My pulse is weak, and my blood is thin,
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.
Arch supports I have for my feet,
Or I wouldn’t be able to be on the street.
Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I’m all right.
My memory is failing, my head’s in a spin
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.
The moral is this as my tale I unfold -
That for you and me who are growing old,
It’s better to say ‘I’m fine” with a grin,
Than to let folks know the shape we are in.
How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my “Get up and go” has got up and went.
But I really don’t mind when I think with a grin,
Of all the grand places my “Get up” has been.
Old age is golden I’ve heard it said.
But, sometimes I wonder as I get into bed.
With my ears in the drawer, my teeth in a cup,
My eyes on the table until I wake up.
Ere sleep overtakes me, I say to myself
“Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?”
When I was young my slippers were red,
I could kick my heels over my head.
Now I am old my slippers are black,
I walk to the store and puff my way back.
I get up each morning and dust off my wits
And pick up the paper and read the “Obits”,
If my name is still missing I know I’m not dead,
So I have a good breakfast and go back to bed.

Author Unknown – Thanks to Mr & Mrs W G Keen

Rich Old Folk
We old folks are worth a fortune
With silver in our hair,
Gold in our teeth,
Gas in our stomachs,
Stones in our kidneys,
and lead in our feet,
we really are priceless.

A Smile Worthwhile
Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner,
and someone saw my grin,
When he smiled I realized,
I’d passed it on to him.
I thought about that smile,
then I realized its worth,
A single smile, just like mine,
could travel round the earth.
So, if you feel a smile begin,
don’t leave it undetected,
Let’s start an epidemic quick,
and get the world infected!